Dear Dude,

I'd forgotten about you. You came for tutoring some weeks ago, and hit on me like there was no tomorrow. As usual, I grew flustered and shared more information than I should have, including the fact that my mother's dating and that I don't like that she is.

The next day, I asked my friends if it was okay to lie about having a boyfriend, and the responses I received were all in the positive. Yes, lie. YOU'RE PROTECTING YOURSELF. And I also decided that the next time I have money, I'm going to buy some sort of ring to wear. I usually decide to do this at least once month, and then no one hits on me for awhile, so I forget.

But then you showed up again. And I thought man, I really wish I had a 4.5 size ring right now on my left ring finger. You hung out for about ten minutes, chatting away, and you were as bold as you were last time. You took even less time to get to the point, asking me how my dating was going. I said it was okay. Then I added I had a boyfriend.

It was admirable how well you held your expression together, and how quickly you thought through that new bit of information. You asked if dating was seeing a few people at the same time, and having a boyfriend was still dating, but seeing only one person. And I said, perhaps you're right. I took that moment to get the spotlight off me and I asked you how your dating was going.

The next few moments were some of the best acting I've seen in a while. You broke eye contact, looked off to the distance, laughed, rubbed your head. Then you informed me that you're taking a break; it's not going so well. I don't really care how well it's going, but I asked why anyway, because I'm very interested in keeping in charge of the conversation. You explained that you're looking to settle down.

I thought, wow, that's brilliant. That must be one of the best flirting methods ever. Tell a girl that you're not dating because you want to date someone seriously -- you want to settle down.

Then you waited to see the response.

Unfortunately, I knew what your game was, so I didn't give you a response. And that's where things got tricky -- the conversation flipped from flirtation to therapy.

I'm in the wrong field. I should have become a psychiatrist.

Soon after that, someone from the front desk asked if I could tutor someone that hour, and you left, but not without a wink.

Until next time.